What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Did I show you my penis last night?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
