we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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