I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
