Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
