I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Enjoy the penises
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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