So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Ladies don't puke and tell
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
