and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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