whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
