I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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