The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
