You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
