So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Randomize