I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
