So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
