I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
