Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
