god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
