You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
