Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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