so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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