after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
