Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
