is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
