Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
