What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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