I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
