Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
