I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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