my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize