Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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