Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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