Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
