ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
