I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
