i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
