I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
