Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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