after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
