Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
