Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
