I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
even my farts smell like vagina
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize