There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
