So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
