Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
