Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
