she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
