Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
