do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
