at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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