She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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