I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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