I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
