Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
last night I used snow as a chaser
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