sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
