If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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