It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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