it hurts more in the daytime
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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