I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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