Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
