it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
