my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
