It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
