JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
