Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
