I didn't shave. On purpose
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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