Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
