Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
