he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
