and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
time to smoke my breakfast
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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