mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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