One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I can't turn off my feet"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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