He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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