i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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