Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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