if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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